Moral values and virtues essential

In the latest Reader’s Digest appraisal, Malaysians have been branded as a rude nation. It is really remorse to know such a grading by a leading magazine. Malaysians were always known for their excellent behaviours. But, now things have changed drastically. Not much consideration is given to good values and virtues by people nowadays.

We see in our midst, people - young and old, talking rudely to elders, not greeting when meeting others, interrupting conversations, laughing without moderation, not saying sorry and the like. Aren’t these values taught at home and at school? Or perhaps such training is lacking in schools and homes? 

People are now slowly losing their values and virtues, like courtesy, gratitude, consideration, moderation, politeness and so forth. These noble virtues need to be implanted in the minds of people, especially the young ones.  

What is the flaw in society which causes such a situation in Malaysia? Basically, our education system and home education is the cause of the deterioration of values among Malaysians. Perhaps parents are not emphasising the importance of inculcating the noble values at home. I believe proper education of children is vital importance to the progress of mankind, and the heart and essential of all education is spiritual and moral training.  

Parents and teachers have a crucial role in guiding children in acquiring these moral values and virtues. In moral training, mothers do play a crucial role. Mothers are the first educators of children, who establish virtues in the child’s inner nature. They encourage the child to acquire perfections and goodly manners, warn children against unbecoming qualities, and encourage them to show forth values like courtesy, compassion, kindness and trustworthiness.

As a developing nation, we cannot afford Malaysia to be branded as nation devoid of noble values and virtues. Such appraisals by magazines like Reader’s Digest surely and definitely affect tourism and name of the nation. So, please Malaysian please be more courteous, polite, helpful, hospitable, accommodating, and caring to all.

Canning is not the way to discpline children

The issue of canning children and students has surfaced again. It looks as if it is a no ending subject in the education circle and among parents too. First of all, we must agree that punishment is necessary to discipline our children and students. But is canning the way to discipline a child or a student? Do we think that by canning a child or a student, he or she can be disciplined? I am afraid we are not taking the right approach in this matter. 

In raising and disciplining children, I believe in the golden rule: reward and punishment. These are two pillars. These two noble principles will ensure stability and order in families and in the world at large. Good deeds should be appreciated and bad behaviour should not be condoned and dealt seriously. By upholding this principle, justice is endorsed in child-raising. In this context, parents play a crucial role in executing these two noble principles. 

For example, whenever a mother sees that her child has done well, let her praise and applaud him and cheer his heart. If the slightest undesirable trait should manifest itself, let the mother or father counsel the child and punish him, and use means based on reason, even a slight verbal chastisement should this be necessary. The child needs to be explained the wrong doing before punishment is carried out. 

However, it is not permissible to strike a child, or vilify him, for the child’s character will be totally perverted if he be subjected to blows or verbal abuse. Children receiving canning can be affected emotionally and psychologically. Children are not beasts to be canned. They are human beings with a soul. Even there are international organizations like the Blue Cross advocate that animals should be treated well, and not beaten. What more, children who are human beings? 

Sometime ago, I was interviewed by a local TV channel asking me to commend on this issue. I emphatically told that no canning of children, but emphasized the need for punishment in raising children. I strongly disagree canning as one form of punishment. We need to execute punishment in different ways and more in a more humane manner. Unfortunately, many parents today support the notion to cane children to ascertain discipline among children. 

It is not the physical pain a child should experience through canning as a form of punishment, but rather the pain of deprivation of things the child likes. This is what child experts and psychologists advocate to parents and educators. What are the ways and methods? 

This is the challenge we face now. It is suggested children should be denied and deprived the things they love most, like ice-cream, KFC outing, watching TV, playing with friends, playing computer games, using sophisticated gadgets like IPod, etc. etc. 

Deprivation of this nature will make the children feel the pain, too. This will make them regret their actions which results this deprivation. Next time, they will make sure; they will not get into mischievous acts and thereby punished.  

Therefore, parents and educators need to change their perspective with regards to canning children as a form of discipline. Proverbs like ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ should be discarded. In the current changes, such holding need to give way for modern thoughts and strategies in handling discipline among children.

Negative connotation of the word janda in Malay

I refer to the recent debate of the word janda for widow in Malay. There has been a proposal to use armalah, an Arabic term, instead of janda to refer to widows in Malay.

As a linguist, allow me to comment on this issue. In languages, there exists a concept called euphemism, which means word having derogatory or unpleasant connotation replaced by users with another word.

For example, word like jamban has been replaced with tandas, and now lately with bilik air in Malay. Although the word jamban and tandas exist in the Malay vocabulary now, but there seems preference for the compound word bilik air.

As to the word janda, it has been use since a long time, and of course a familiar word among users of Malay Language. Way back in 1812, there is an entry of the word janda which means ‘widow’ in the English and Malayan Dictionary, complied by William Marsden. So, the word janda is actually an equivalent to the concept widow in Malay.

Words cannot be replaced according to whims and fancies of users of a language. Words survive and thrive, and at times become extinct when the usage of a particular word becomes minimal or not preferred by users. If the word falls out of use, then slowly and gradually, the word fades out from the common vocabulary. It will then become a passive word in the vocabulary of the language.

So, we need not worry about the negative connotation of the word as claimed by certain quarters. It is just a word to denote a married women whose husband has passed away, or separated legally. Of course, the perception of a widow is different between a man and a woman.  That doesn’t mean there is a negative connotation for the word janda. Leave the word alone and time will tell us whether the word is a preferred word or not in time to come. All languages evolve and change all along the way, including vocabulary of language.

The word armalah is comparatively a new word to be introduced into the Malay language. It is not even listed in Kamus Dewan, 4th edition, the latest Malay dictionary produced by Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka in 2005. Perhaps, it will take a while to acclimatize the word by the Malay users.  

To accept a word or reject a word is all in the hands of the users of a language. Whether the word  janda stands or disappears, it depends on the users of the language. After all, not many people are unhappy about the word. It is always a matter of choice in language. So, if armalah is introduced, it will be just an alternative word for janda in Malay.

Exams: one form of assessment

The death of E. Premkumar after failing his SPM examination is indeed a dreadful episode.  Why such a tragic happening? This is not the first time such a tragedy has occurred. Failure in examination should not be a cause for a student to end his life.

Unwarranted pressure and high expectations on the part of parents, school administration and teachers can be cited as causes for such incidents.

Such happenings is because society at large are looking at examinations as a source of pride and honour for the family, household, school, education department and the Ministry of Education.

There seems to be an academic rat race among students. After all, examination is just one part of education, that is a form of evaluation of the student’s academic achievement. Academic advancement can be gauged by many ways and one of it through examinations and tests.

Parents need to understand that examination is not the sole issue and concern in education. Students should be taught to see education as wholesome, not studying just to pass examinations. If a student has not passed his examination, does it mean he or she is not clever?  Why despise and ridicule the student for not passing an examination? 

Parents should learn to accept children as they are. Not everyone can score all As. It is demoralizing students when you compare one with another. Each and every one is unique, just the fingers of a hand.

Scoring all As doesn’t mean that the student is successful in his life. There are many factors that enable a student to be successful in life.

All the time, A achievers are appreciated and glorified, where else the non A achievers are not given any recognition or even acknowledgement by parents, schools and society at large. Celebrations and jubiliations are for the A achievers.  The so-called low and moderate achievers also need celebrations and appreciation for passing examinations. They also need motivation and assurance from all quarters. But, sad to say such events are not happening.

Actually, we are the one that categorize students as high, moderate and low achievers. In education, we should not put them in such categories.

Perhaps, parents and teachers need to change their perception of education. We need to see education as wholesome. A student in his journey through schools and colleges should enjoy education, not mugging and struggling to compete in a rat race with his counterparts.  At the end of the day, education should mould a person to become a good citizen, a better equipped person to face the onslaught of life and succeed in his life.

Let us all, lend a hand and work together to take away the phobia of examinations from the minds of our children. Let them learn to see examinations as one facet of the education system.

Parents, teachers, education department and concerned parties should not unduly put pressure on children until they are psychologically and emotionally disturbed. Show more love and compassion to children and prepare them to face education in a positive approach.

Ageing and longevity

The First World Congress on Healthy Ageing was held recently in Kuala Lumpur recently. As a senior citizen, I read the proceedings with much enthusiasm. Ageing is a physical phenomenon and is something that inevitable for human beings. Greying, wrinkles and loosening of body muscles are part and parcel of old age. 

As stressed in the Congress, it is important that ageing is a healthy one. I think healthy doesn’t mean physically fit and able to do workouts in gyms and the sort. It means free for any serious ailments and possessing a healthy mind. Besides, one should have a positive attitude towards life.

I believe one formula for healthy ageing is keeping oneself active, both physically and mentally.  Retirement doesn’t mean that we are at the end of our journey. It is just a mind set.  We have many senior citizens in our midst living happily enjoying the life as it is. I think this is healthy ageing.  Our former premier Tun Dr Mahathir Mohammad and Royal Professor Ungku Aziz are classic examples. Although in their 80’s and 90’s, both are still ageing healthily.

As long as senior citizens are engaging in some of activity, I strongly believe he or she can live healthily although ageing. Studies show that an active mind keeps diseases and aliments at bay. There are many ways keeping one active mentally. Involving in NGO’s, social, spiritual activities and also perhaps doing some yoga and brisk walking should suffice for a healthy ageing among senior citizens. Healthy diet, being a teetotaller and adopting a healthy lifestyle are other ways to ensure healthy ageing. 

In this context, we truly appreciate the government’s decision to extend the retirement age to 60 years. It is indeed a good move to keep the ageing population active, at least physically and mentally until 60.  Let us all, including me a retiree, look forward ageing as a phenomenon and not an alarming factor, but rather a part of life. We should learn to take life as it, as many are doing it nowadays. Ageing should not be feared but faced with optimism and hopefulness.

Tolerence and moderation: Key for racial unity

At the gathering of World Interfaith Harmony Week recently, Prime Minister Dato Seri Najib Tun Razak called on Malaysians to see the diversity as an asset to the nation.

It is indeed sad to note that certain quarters have disapproved his action and made an issue about his presence merely wearing a kurta at  Thaipusam’s celebration in Batu Caves recently. After all, kurta is just a tradisional attire for Indian men just like Malaysian Chinese and Indian women wear the kebaya.

As clarified by the Premier, we should not confuse between culture and religion. Religion is about faith, but culture is a social practice among people. Both should not be made to conflict with each other.

In Malaysia people from different cultural background adhering different religions, like the Bahá'is, Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, Jain and Muslims, still practising their own culture and customs, including their dress code. The dress code is just a social identity, not a religious identity.

We should not allow ignorance of other religious beliefs to become a barrier for unity and solidarity in our nation. Intolerance should not be allowed to obscure religious truth. A climate of religious tolerance, although challenging should be a priority in our multi-cultural and multi-religious societies in Malaysia.

All of us, including religious leaders, educators, media and the government should work towards establishing religious tolerance and mutual understanding among the citizens of this country. Steps of friendly mutual tolerance ought to be established between various religious adherents of the Malaysia to make haven for all.

As stressed by Najib, moderation is key word for religious tolerance in any country. I believe, as Malaysian we are just like flowers of one garden, living harmoniously and peacefully in this great nation of us.  We have learnt to accept our differences and accept each other as fellow Malaysians in a spirit of fellowship and comradeship.

 As demonstrated by the Prime Minister himself, all Malaysians should consort with peoples of all religions with joy and gladness. We are all waves of one sea, as echoed in 1Malaysia concept.